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How to Reignite the Passion, for More Than Just One Night!

Guest Post by Stacey Martino

The elusive date night…one of the KEYS to creating an unshakable love and an unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime!

Work and the kids take up nearly every waking hour Monday through Friday…if you’re lucky, maybe you get to work out before the kids get up?  When the weekend comes, it’s grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, errands and not to mention all the kids games, activities and social outings.  This is just how it is for so many of us!

The kids, the work, the laundry, the games, parties and social commitments..even the cleaning seem to get our attention before creating romantic time for each other.

But here’s the truth…decades of research has shown that couples who keep romance in their marriage by consistently make time for date nights, are significantly less likely to end up divorced after the kids are grown and move out of the house.

It seems nearly impossible to imagine, but one day, all your kids are going to leave your house.  You won’t have 7 loads of laundry a week, you won’t have 5 nights of team practices with games on the weekends, and you won’t go through 36 rolls of toilet paper every 3 weeks.  Eventually, it will be you and your spouse…alone!

Ironically, this is when a lot of couples unravel and split up.  After so many years of focusing on everything that kept them so busy, and neglecting “dating” each other, they look at each other and realize that there is nothing “keeping” them together anymore.  It’s sad, but it’s a wide spreading epidemic.  They even made a movie about it recently with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones called”Hope Springs”.

One of the best strategies for preventing this is to DATE your spouse!!  I know what you are thinking…WHEN?! and HOW?!

As a love and passion expert who specializes in helping couples with young children to create an unshakable love and an unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime, I hear this nearly 100% of the time.  But this is not a “should do”.   If you want to create a magnificent love affair that lasts for the next 50 or 60 years you have left together, this is a “MUST DO”!

Here are just a few strategies that you can begin using today to handle the WHEN and the HOW to consistently date your spouse!

WHEN:

Between work schedules, kid schedules, commitments and the house stuff, we are already stretched so thin these days! It can be difficult to imagine when to find the time to go out.  Here are just a few quick strategies that you can use to find a few hours a month to go out on a date!

  • Laundry Service:  As a mom who also works from home, I used to think nothing of just “throwing in a load of laundry” during my day.   But you and I both know what that turns into…going back downstairs to put it in the dryer, then folding, etc.  Times 7 loads a week…very unproductive.  Last year we began using a wash and fold service and it’s been extremely productive! They pick up our laundry every Friday morning and deliver it clean and folded every Friday afternoon!!  And it’s much more affordable than I thought it would be!  This can put hours of time back into your week.
  • Cleaning Service:  This is one way that you can free up at least 3 hours a week!  I’d much rather be out to dinner than cleaning my tub!
  • Television:  If you own a TV, you have time to go on a date!  I bet if you add up the amount of time you spend watching TV, you can find 2 or 3 hours twice a month to go on a date! Skip one Grey’s Anatomy, Biggest Loser and American Idol a month, and you are out having fun with your lover!!!  (Don’t “watch” someone else having a great life, go create your own!)

HOW:

This is one of the biggest struggles that parents have – they never get any time alone!  While this is VERY common, it’s also very dangerous.  Here are just two of the strategies that we share with our private coaching clients, to give you the solutions for HOW to go out on a date when you have kids!

  • The Family Team-Up:  This is a great strategy to use with another family with kids similar in ages to yours.  Pick one Saturday night each month and have that be the Family Team-Up Night.  One month, you drop your kids off at their house for the evening and you guys get to go out on a date night.  The next month on Family Team-Up Night, they get to drop their kids at your house and they go out on a date.  This guarantees you both 6 date nights a year, with a guaranteed and trusted babysitter. Plus, it’s FREE!  The best part is, the kids have so much more fun playing together!  For them, it’s a night time play-date!
  • Gift Card Points:  If you are able to do so, consolidate your budgeted monthly bills and spending onto one primary credit card that offers points that can be redeemed for restaurant gift cards.  Then each month, redeem the credit card points for gift cards to restaurants you like to go to.  This way you can go out to dinner every month for free! Combine this with the Family Team-Up Night and you and your spouse can go out to dinner for the night without spending a dime!! If that’s not an aphrodisiac, I don’t know what is!!

Using these strategies, start planning your next date night with your spouse.  Reach out to a family that would be a great match for your and ask them to by your Family Team Up partner!  Look into wash and fold or cleaning services nearby.  What else can you do today to bring dating back into your relationship?

With each step, you begin to create your magnificent love affair! You have 50 or 60 years to be together, fill each one with the love that fills your heart and the passion that stirs your soul!!

For more tools and strategies that really work, sign up for our free Four Part Relationship Transformation Video Training Series at www.LoveAndPassionCoach.com/RelationshipTransformation

About Stacey Martino

Stacey Martino is the co-founder of Love and Passion Coach, where couples create their unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime! Stacey and her husband Paul share the mission that everyone couple should have the tools and strategies that really work to transform their relationship and create their magnificent love affair.  Stacey is a Certified Marriage Educator, Divorce Preventionist, Strategic Interventionist and Coach.  She has appeared on QVC, is a sought after speaker and an international coach.

Connect with Stacey stacey@loveandpassioncoach.com!